Hilarious Sue Threats

A law abiding citizen I am! This is something that I have noted recently. Whenever someone tries to annoy me, I am very quick at intimidating and using all sorts of techniques to instill fear in them. It is to some extent enhanced by bragging just a little bit in order to create that virtual social status barrier in an attempt to belittle my targets actions.

            I will not hesitate to pick up my phone and pretend to be talking to a ‘familiar’ senior traffic police the very minute you decide to ram my car while in traffic jam. In fact I will make the conversation so intense that you’ll find it hard to believe that he isn’t my childhood friend. I will then go ahead and try to gauge the extent of the damage caused on my car and come up with very convincing statistics of the costs that will be incurred in doing repairs on the damaged parts. I will then give you a detailed oral list of the possible legal and psychological consequences that you will go through in case you decide not to take responsibility and cater for the repair costs.

            If you ask my elderly neighbor what I do for a living, she’ll most probably tell you that I represent the government in those complex legal tussles. I wouldn’t blame her, nor would I blame her age for such an ideology. But I’m sure she would be disappointed to know that I’m just a simple manipulative custom essay writer and that I do some things just to get content for my next essays. The truth of the matter is I was kind enough to let her know the general trend in the law field in handling cases similar to her dog’s act of making a mess out of my lawn every single morning. I made sure that she chained the dog every time she wanted it out of the house, and just recently I noticed that she has sort the services of dog trainers. Wouldn’t it be nice if they taught it to recognize boundaries!

            Just the other day, I had to make one of my toughest legal threat breakthroughs yet. I had just woken up, barely dressed, walked up to my bedroom window, pulled up the curtains and took that one long lazy  yawn. Just when my eyes are adjusting to the sunrays, I was met by this frightening sight of my nosy neighbor zooming in on me with her binoculars. Now how do you convince an arrogant neighbor that peeping is illegal! 

published 1 year ago

iwillloveu

65 points