Top Five Parenting Skills for Parenting Teenagers

Parenting teenagers is tough no matter how you look at it.  It seems like no matter how good the first 12 years of their life was, the teen years just hit you like a ton of bricks.  And in our day and age, it doesn't always wait until they are 13 before it hits you.  You need to have some serious parenting skill to handle being the parent of a teen before hey are teens!

Here are the most important parenting skills you need to have before your child becomes a teen:

1. Consistency - say what you mean and mean what you say.  Be prepared to follow up on whatever consequences you say will follow certain actions.  If you say that if they don't keep their music at a reasonalbe volume that you'll take away their music player be prepared to do that.  If you say it and don't do it they will be unlikely to believe what you say you will do.
2. Setting boundaries - teens need to know what they boundaries are.  There should be strict lines set that are not moveable and if there are boundaries that have some grey area around them your child needs to know what is included in that grey area.  If they step outside the boundaries, be prepared to follow up with consequences.
3. Conversation - start having conversations about serious subjects like drugs, smoking, and sex long before they are likely to be an issue.  They are less likely to be an issue in the future if you've already been talking about it and your child knows where you stand but if they do become an issue talking to your teen won't be as difficult.
4. Praise - if you praise your child when they do something good they will grow to like that feeling.  Give them praise when they deserve it and they will search out opportunities to get more praise from you.  It will also increase their self-worth and teens who have confidence in themselves and in their decisions are less likely to become involved in illegal or unethical activities because they know they don't need to do them to be liked.
5. Listen - listening may be part of conversations but it is not the same thing.  Listening is not only hearing the words that are coming out of their mouths but picking up on the non-verbal signals.  Non-verbal signals are often more telling of the truth than verbal words so when you teen is telling you what they want you to hear watch for non-verbal signals that suggest that there is more to it than that.  Then ask the appropriate questions to try to get to the truth of the matter.

Parenting teenagers is never easy but if you've already developed these parenting skills you'll have a much easier time.  If you're parenting teenagers and have not fully developed these skills, never feel that it is too late.  Start working on these skills now and over time your teenager will start to see that you are sincerely trying to understand them and that is a big step as far as they are concerned.

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published 11 months ago

DMcGaw

731 points