Why it is hard for ex-lovers to become friends?

Definitely, it is understood that friends can and mostly became lovers, no doubt about it. However, it is not the hottest topics in universe but the question whether ex-lovers should be friends again is. The answer to this question will depend on individual’s understanding about friendship and his or her emotional capability.

Let us discuss a few pointers on the different kinds of love to serve as guide for us to make a better answer.

We all knew what a platonic love is. Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. Alternatively, we simply called it friendship. This kind of love often developed to a romantic love.

According to the Triangular Theory of Love by psychologist Robert Sternberg, there are seven forms or types of love, namely:

1.    Friendship

2.    Infatuated love

3.    Empty love

4.    Romantic love

5.    Companionate love

6.    Fatuous love

7.    Consummate love

Types 5 to 7 usually fall after marriage. Consummate love is the ideal form of love – easy to achieve but difficult or impossible to maintain and this love often changes to companionate love.

Love is without a doubt one of the single most powerful and enduring feelings ever experienced by all of us. In one form or another, it exists in our heart and arguably plays the most important role in our life – either through its presence or through its absence.

All of us are very lucky to experience such kind of wonderful evolution of love. Some people say that friends that became lovers are meant to each other. Personally, I agree to that because it is always best for a relationship to develop at a snail's pace. Nevertheless, there is rare or no ideal relationship and always we end up hurt badly. After the end of our so-called ideal relationship, we welcome Mr. H-A-T-E in our heart and that’s the beginning of the most popular debate. Why it is hard for ex-lovers to become friends?

For me becoming friends after a failed relationship is difficult only for a while. This is because there are always borderlines after breaking up with your partner. And we must know and understand what these borderlines are in order to release the hatred in our heart. Usually the most difficult is the feeling left behind.

I remember when I was answering questions in Yahoo Answers. I found the same question and one notable answer I recalled. She exactly answered like this: “It's a tough one, I’m going through that right now and my heart just keeps breaking because I want more…” Ouch! It really hurts…

Let go…

Letting go of someone dear to your heart doesn’t mean you are weak; it only means that you are strong enough to let go. So, don’t ask why it is hard just learn to let go and ask yourself when we could be friends again. The reversal of that strong evolution of love is very tough but believe me it is possible. Learn to forgive and be patient because as the Scripture says, there is time for everything. (Ecclessiastes 3:1-8)

Therefore, if you asked me again whether ex-lovers should be friends, my answer is simply Y-E-S.

published 2 years ago

RekatksiR

389 points